My New Year’s resolution is not to listen to my ‘hubris’ devil anymore. I’m going to get rid of my cold cap and lose my hair.
The cold cap is a crown of ice that one wears during chemo in the hope that your hair follicles will freeze and therefore, not fall out. (See http://cancercurmudgeon.com/ It adds about an hour to your chemo regime because it needs to cool down in the beginning and at the end . Cold caps during the winter are especially cold. For some reason, the last treatment was the coldest and worse because I had a chest infection. Although I can intellectually believe that germs cause these infections, it is difficult to imagine that four hours under ice is good for anyone. It is the worse
Actually, can you make that 30 years ago!
part of chemo and now I hope instead of trying to keep warm I will read, watch a film or snore in comfort. A woman came into the consultant’s waiting room yesterday with a baldhead. She looked defiant, and strong willed. She had no scarf, no wig, and no turban. I thought ‘YES”, that’s the real fashion approach to cancer.
Why did I do it in the first place? Good question and one asked at times by various chemo staff who do not believe in cold caps and always say they would never have one. I think at my age of 70 my devil is vanity (or hubris). I think as long as I have my longish dyed hair someone will mistake me for a younger person. How young can they possibly think I am? I can’t see any benefit to looking 60 or even 50, but if I were to look 40, well that would be something. This is where hubris comes in. Somewhere, in the back of my mind is a small devil’s voice that says, ‘Vell, maybe, why not give it a try?”
But will it remove my vanity?